For those who are still interested in
the welfare of Frank, here is the latest update.
On 17 May, Frank was invited to his niece’s
wedding. It should have been a great day to get together with his family, other
relatives and friends on this joyous occasion.
As he has gone through extreme stresses and
anguishes for over 8 years, he just could not bring himself to renew contacts
with his so-called family. Even a reminder on the impending meeting with his
children and grand-children, sent his body into over-drive with stress and pain.
He left the church service, as soon as he
has conveyed his best wishes to his niece and her husband.
The attendance at the reception that
evening was a little better for him, as his “family” were seated at the opposite
end of the hall, and there were many instances of the view of them been
obscured.
We must not forget that even though the
abusive situation is no more, the post-traumatic effects will go on forever.
He cannot tell his pains to "take a rest".
For those who continue to give excuses
for Frank’s children and to “shoot the messenger”; by blaming the webmaster
for publicizing the case:
There are no hidden agenda. The
webmaster presented the facts of the case, as the evidence were overwhelming and
shocking. The additional comments and observations made here, reflect
the en bloc sentiments of all those who knew the facts of the case and who have
contacted me.
Please, try to be objective.
Look at the documented evidence of the case. To be fair, you may not have seen
all the documented facts, but I have. The evidence have been preserved, with
special instructions. Arrangements can still be made to view them.
Consider the fact that Frank’s children
must have hurt him so much, that he had to make the decision not to have
anything to do with them. We can be sure that that decision was not
made in a hurry, or without careful considerations and soul-searching. It must
have been heart wrenching for him.
We can only hope that Frank is strong enough
to endure the pains that come with the constant reminders of his "family".
9 May 2008
This case has been submitted for inclusion into the New
National Database on Elder Abuse Cases. (Click
Here to see Media Release on the Launch of this database)
26 April 2008
We were wrong!
We thought that the hurt and "nightmares" for Frank, from action/inaction by his
children, would stop with the completion of the property settlement.
The continuing actions/inactions by his adult children that
affected Frank,
can only be seen as lunacy or stupidity, at best. How could they do it? We are astounded as ever.
The latest has caused Frank insomnia and upset. The evidence
will be published in good time.
All the webmaster can say at this stage -- you have
to see the evidence to believe!!!
Before anyone make any accusation of "lies and deceits" re
this site - Please note: every post is backed up by evidence; and has the
approval of Frank.
6 January 2008
Message from webmaster:
The reasons why this case still remains on the Net:
This case still generates interest here and overseas and was cited in two
organizations that I know of.
At long last, Frank is now in a proper house but has 'lost' his entire
family. How this case will pan out? We don't know.
This case has been used for training and information by others.
"We cannot understand why his children did what they did?" is a common
comment from many. Some have expressed their astonishment in the "Your Say" page
on this site. Others preferred to email me with similar comments.
My own reasons for exposing this case:
the case is so UNBELIEVABLE,
BUT TRUE! It has to be told; so others will NOT go through similar
experience as Frank.
Changes must be made to current laws to better protect the elderly. I have been
working with my
associates, here and overseas, to achieve that goal.
Perhaps some professionals can work out an explanation for the
behavior of Frank's children.
The lost dignity and emotional/psychological effect on Frank were
horrendous. A life destroyed!
What I have witnessed in this case, will haunt me
for the rest of my life. Hopefully, by exposing this case (and others) I
contribute, in a small way, towards EA prevention and research.
All documentary evidence have been preserved with special instructions.
In my search for help, in the dark days of this case, I was shocked to learn
then that there was a name for this case - Elder Abuse.
Iwould
like to acknowledge the help and advice given me, by the various EA prevention
organizations and advocates, from around the world.
Analysis of this case brought out the following facts:
there was misuse of enduring power of attorney - Failure to act.
Neglect and Isolation;
Emotional and Psychological Abuse;
Denial of proper access to assets. Frank was prevented
from getting his fair share of assets for a lengthy period of time. Pleas
for property settlement were ignored. Documentary proof attested to that.
Please note that analyses were made by others too. They (including EA
Prevention Orgs.) came to the same conclusions.
Since my initiation into the unsavory world of Elder Abuse cases, I have been
working, whenever I can, to highlight the various cases and issues here and
overseas.
Submission was made to the Parliamentary Inquiry
into Older People and the Law, late last year. The Report of that Inquiry has
been published. It made many recommendations covering a range of issues -
Fraud, Financial Abuse, General and Enduring 'Power of Attorney' provisions;
family agreements; Barriers to older Australians accessing legal services; and
Discrimination. Hopefully, policy-makers can see to the implementation of the
recommendations in the near future.
By empowering others with the relevant information, I hope that they will
not have to go through the "nightmares" that Frank and other victims of EA have
gone through.
18 December 2007
Wishing All Visitors
A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
Let us hope that Frank pulls through the festive
holidays. We must remember that the emotional and psychological pains; lost
dignity and pride, Do Not take a break or holiday.
6 December 2007
At a Family Gathering on 25 November
A Wedding
Anniversary Celebration
It was extremely difficult
for Frank to be in such close proximity to his children and grandchildren, at
that function. As he has made up his mind about NOT wanting to see his
children, it was also difficult to feel relaxed with his grandchildren. He
was, of course, very happy to see the grandchildren.
In fact, before the end of
the function, Frank could not bear the pain any longer, and left without saying
goodbye to many friends and relatives. He hoped those individuals would
understand and forgive him.
He was happy that the
daughter-in-law went up to him, asked about his health and informed him of her
pregnancy. He was shocked to hear that his son was supposed to have sent
him a text message. He did not received that message. However, it is important
to note that he lost his old mobile phone for about 3 weeks before he bought a
new one. Still, there should be better means of communicating that news to
Frank.
Frank is sorry that he is
unable to rekindle relationship with his family and therefore felt that the
daughter-in-law will have to miss out on any contact with him. He still
felt that more should have been done before things got to the 'point of no
return' with regards to his relationship with his family.
It was a difficult and
painful decision but considering the damages done to his physical, emotional and
mental health, his dignity and pride; he has chosen NOT to resume any contact
with his family, particularly his children. Any indirect contact with his children is
also ruled out.
He deeply regrets that, but
considering the fact that his children, and their spouses DID NOTHING to give him
any considerations or regard before, during and after the property settlement.
...They knew about his crammed living-quarters of over 8 years. They must
also have known that it was very hurtful to see/hear his grandchildren in the front
of the house, but was not visited by them.
(Update
made in consultation with; and approved by Frank)
NB: Everything posted on this site has the
approval of Frank before publication. However, comments made on the 'Your Say'
page are views of site visitors. Those comments are then relayed to Frank.
1 December 2007
Special thanks to visitors who continue
to check on this site. An update will be posted soon.
UPDATES
2 November 2007
For those who are really concerned about Frank, here is the latest update.
Since he got possession of the house, he has been working on various renovations and repair jobs. He has to do some of the work himself or pay tradesmen to help him. Apparently, there are more to be done.
A few days ago I contacted Frank. He told me that the previous evening he had fallen asleep at around 7pm; and slept till 8.30am the next morning. Very unusual for him, as he has always been an early riser and he suffers from insomnia.
He also told me that he is "losing interest in everything".
I don't think we need to have a medical or psychology degree to see what is happening.
Ask yourself what you would do in his circumstance.
For those who accused me of doing him harm by publishing his story, please contact him and talk to him. Find out for yourself!
We will cover the issue of getting help for people like Frank in other related sites.
20 October 2007
Certain items on this page have been removed, as we believe that they detract from the purpose of this and other related sites.
Please contact the webmaster via email if you have further questions or complaints about this site. Email Me
We wish to resolve other issues, privately.
23 September 2007
Yesterday, Frank invited a small group of friends and relatives to his newly renovated house. It has taken him quite a few months to do the necessary repairs and renovations.
The house is a modest one. But compared to his living quarters the past 8 to 9 years, it is a luxury!
It is good to see him relaxed and proud of his new home. Everyone there wanted to show him that there are others, who care about him.
There were still small whispered discussions amongst guests regarding the horrible treatments his children had dished out to him.
Would you believe this - His abusers have come up with reasons for their actions. Their so-called reasons as to why they treated their father that way will be published shortly.
Those reasons they have given, so far, can only be described as insults to our intelligence. You will be able to judge that for yourself when it is published here and other related sites.
There can never be justifiable reason(s) for Elder Abuse!
We can say this to Frank's abusers -- " You can fool some of the people some of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can't fool all of the people all of the time".
Wait for the next update!
2 September 2007
Father’s Day - A day to honour fathers.
How do you think Frank feels on such a day?Alone? Bitter? Frustrated? Bewildered? Disappointed? Ashamed?
I believe he feels All of that and more.
This is what he requested that I include in this update:
His children not only robbed him of a family; they have robbed their own children of a grandparent.
Frank suffers from 2 chronic illnesses but is determined to work hard at keeping fit. Can he ever forget that he once had a family? I think the answer is obvious.
Part of his survivor-technique now, appears to be - to try to forget he ever had a family.However, on occasions such as Father’s Day, Christmas Day etc… it is extremely difficult for him.
We can only wish him well and hope that he will pull through without damage to his mental and physical health.
9 August. 2007
The group of us (members here and overseas) who have intimate knowledge, are still keeping an eye on this case. We were stunned and felt powerless. Laws, hopefully, will be changed in the near future to help people like Frank. As a group, we are now doing a number of things to publicise the growing problem of elder abuse; and to work with various other groups in lobbying law-makers. The law must be changed. There should be a law on Duty To Care.
Frank, at 77 years of age, is trying very hard to get on with what is left of his life. It is not easy for him to forget that he once had a family. His family - until the start of this tragedy, that has been the main focus of his life. He is often heard mumbling to himself - "What family? I don't have a family. I thought I had a family."
Regarding his abusers - They will never know how many of their friends, relatives, acquaintances or colleagues have knowledge of what they did to their father. This "stain" in their lives can NEVER be forgotten or "washed off".
18 July, 2007
Yes, apparently the documents were signed for transferring shares to both parents. Wow! what a great effort. It has cost Frank a few hundred dollars for this latest attempt to get what is rightfully his. Hopefully, there won't be anymore such painful and expensive exercises to get what is rightfully his.
What his children had done in the past few years should NOT be forgotten. It is INEXCUSABLE!
How could they do what they did?
Many of us, who have intimate knowledge of the case, kept posing this question around.
Frank did not have an easy life. Firstly, his wife was diagnosed with a serious mental illness over 40 years ago. He stayed to care for his wife and family. Thought he has given his children everything he could.
Put yourself in his position. At 77 he is all alone; stripped of his pride and dignity. Had to fight (his own children) to retain 50% of the assets he built up. He is frail and bewildered.
It was painful to watch Frank's expression as he showed me the few cigars (still in the original box) that he had bought when his son was born. He found them in storage under the house, as he rummaged around to sort things out. "What family? I've got no family! I thought I had a family...." Then silence ..............Can you feel his disappointments, pains and bewilderment.
17 July, 2007
Newsflash: Information just received today. There is a response from the other party. Details unclear to the author at the moment. Frank is not too well; and it is difficult to get more details from him. Will post update as soon as we receive more details.
16 July, 2007
A group of people from around the world are watching this case with interest. There is a list of names gathered to express the united view of NO tolerance for this sort of behaviour/abuses particularly in regard to this case. Any denial to access of an older person's assets is considered as Financial Abuse. We intend to publish this list shortly.
4 July 2007
Can You Believe This!
About 8 weeks ago, it was discovered that a number of share-portfolios (in jointnames of Frank and his ex-wife) were in Dividend Reinvestment Plans. This was overlooked by everyone during the property settlement.
Frank supplied the details to his solicitor, and requested that the solicitor send a letter to the other party. The letter, together with the necessary forms, was sent. The letter mentioned that in the spirit of the property settlement, the remaining shares should be split equally between Frank and his ex-wife.
All his children has to do was to either get their mother to sign those forms or, to sign on her behalf (as the son has power of attorney for his mother).
A reminder letter was also sent three weeks after the first.
That was more than 7 weeks ago! True to form, they have NOT sent the forms back.
The effect on Frank? You can imagine.
Any reasonable person would be stunned by their inaction.
It has been extremely difficult for Frank to refurbish and repair the house as he has to move things around in order to do that- (he lives there)
His health has deteriorated. However, as he was brought up to just "get on with it"; he has done just that. Often, the suppressed anger and disappointment with his so-called "family" would surface. He would then try to suppress those feelings again. On my previous visits to see him, I have witnessed "momentary confusion" . He complained of sleeplessness.
I don't think any of us could imagine accurately how he feels. The pains that he endures because of his uncaring, ungrateful children, will be with him to the end.
He is lost without words or resolution.
He requested that I convey his appreciation to visitors to this site who had left good wishes for him. He realizes that nothing more can be done for him. His wish is that others can learn from his terrible experience of elder abuse from family members.
The author has received several private emails enquiring as to whether Frank's children are aware of this website. With the help of some friends, his children were informed. However, to date, there has been no contact or comment from them.
